Dear Baby Gokie

Dear Baby Gokie,

I am writing this to let you know how much I love you. You're still firmly ensconced in my uterus (if you're a boy, hopefully that word doesn't gross you out too much), chilling and taking your dear sweet time to decide to come out into the world and meet us all. But I love you. SO much.

I'm afraid you might get the wrong impression about my feelings towards you, because lots of times all I do is complain about the different wonderful experiences you are putting me through (ahem...see here and here, and pretty much every tweet I've tweeted this entire pregnancy). Not that I imagine you'll go back and read my entire blog when you're older because, probably ew? I don't know. Maybe you'll take after your mom and have a weird obsession with reading ALL of someone's blog in creepy succession. Maybe not.

Anyway. I know I do a lot of complaining about your presence inside me, especially in these last few grueling and impatient weeks, but I love you for it. You've already taught me how to place someone else's needs always before my own, which I'm sure I'm going to continue to learn better each and every day when you get here.

I love feeling you squirm around inside me. I'm pretty sure you're going to be right-footed, because the right side of my belly takes a lot more beating than the rest. I know you're somewhat stubborn, too (taking after your father), because when you kick a little more ferociously than normal and I try to coax your foot away from my ribs, you don't like it at all. You're just learning to do tons of things - I can't imagine how much more stubborn you'll be when you're out here with us.

I also want to let you know how many people are excited for your arrival. You have a bit of an advantage because you're the first grandchild on both sides, so your soon-to-be grandparents are pretty ecstatic for your arrival. Your aunts and uncles are already doing everything they can to support me and you, and all of my and your dad's friends are eagerly awaiting your arrival. You are loved by SO many people already. Just wait until you get here and can experience all that love for yourself - hope you like cuddles, kisses, and all sorts of affection.

art by your Aunt Lucy
I am going to miss this time of just you and me, though. It feels like a...privilege, but in the biggest way possible, to have shared these 9 months with you. Your dad is of course a close second, but I feel pretty special that I got to share this time with you. Words don't really express what it's like to have another person, with a heart and soul and future, hanging out with you 24/7! If you are a boy, I hope that if you have kids one day, you aren't too jealous of your wife for getting that experience. If you're a girl and become a mom, I can't wait for you to experience the wonderful blessing it is to carry another person with you someday.

I am ready to meet you, though, baby - so anytime you want to get here is fine by me. We've been waiting for so long that these last few weeks are crawling by and we're getting impatient! Until then, dear one, I'm praying for you and trying to enjoy these last few moments of just you-and-me.

your mama


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