19 May 2015
Driving back from Omaha on Sunday night, David and I basically propelled ourselves into a thunder and lightning storm. We could see the dark clouds on the horizon, and drove straight into them - watching the clouds build, buffering through the rain, and emerged out on the other side right when we got to Lincoln.
There were a few moments of absolute peace right before and right after the storm. Moments where I was able to look out the window of our car, watching the clouds, and think peacefully.
Sometimes God's beauty just attacks me. I was trying to think of something that could be more beautiful if it were planned than a summer thunderstorm. The way the clouds were reflecting the sunset, the rolling motion, the quiet that comes right before the loud pounding of hail.
An hour earlier, Kate took her first steps - and it was a truly happy and crazy moment, one of those where time slowed down for a minute. We were at a graduation party for David's cousin, and she was pulling herself up on a coffee table. Then she decided to let go - in full sight of David and me, amazingly, although not walking towards us - and took 5 steps and then fell down.
I know it wasn't much, and it happens all the time to other people, but watching her walk was amazing. After it happened and we, of course, couldn't get her to repeat it, I thought of where she started - those little pink lines on a pregnancy test we weren't planning on taking, to a squirmy tiny newborn, to now a little person who could take steps all by herself! It was hard to believe that those moments were all wrapped up into this little person who has made me and her dad one of the happiest people on the planet.
Some days, it's hard for me to find beauty in my everyday life. I'm reminded constantly of the things I need to do, the work I'm avoiding, the piles of laundry and dirty bathroom and changing diapers that aren't the most glorious things in the world. And then days like Sunday happen - and God's beauty hits me in the face, daring me to even attempt to ignore it.
And I just can't.