I'm sore and tired from a killer MMX workout last night (thank you P90x3, for consistently reminding me that I have muscles all over my body that I don't normally use), and I'm lazy and trying to avoid work so...blogging.
The thing I've been thinking about the most recently is really how truly difficult this whole parenting thing is. It is not a joke or a picture-perfect series of Instagram shots. It's definitely not a walk in the park filled with happiness and rainbows and perfect moments.
It's giving of your own desires and needs in place of a little person who you love very much - but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier.
It's reading the same stupid book a thousand times because it's what they love the most.
It's changing another dirty diaper and trying not to gag or curse even though that's what you really want to do.
It's taking breaks from typing a blog post to kiss someone's toes because they need you to do that right now or the world's going to end.
And so on.
Kate's toddlerhood has been primarily uneventful. Most of the time she's a happy, smily girl, wanting to please and generally being all around hilarious and cute. By far and away this has been my most favorite stage: she has all the beginnings of being independent, but still wants plenty to do with mama & dada -- and her budding hilarious vocabulary doesn't hurt.
But just because I love this stage and I love her very much doesn't make the constant demand of motherhood any less wearing.
Don't misunderstand me - I love being a mom. It's the most fulfilling and rewarding thing I've ever done in my life, and I have a feeling that title's not going to change hands anytime soon. It's a person-changing thing and I wouldn't undo it for the world.
But this last week David graciously worked from home a few afternoons so I could finish a work project, and I got a few uninterrupted hours done at Starbucks for multiple days in a row...and it was a really nice, refreshing break. Not to have to stop a thousand times in the middle of a thought to fix a toy, or find a stuffed animal, or kiss an ouchie, but just to work and work and really concentrate. It was lovely.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, parenting is hard. No news there, but it's true. And sometimes you need a little break -- and that's okay. It doesn't make you or me any less of a loving person who cares deeply for their kids. It just makes you human, and proves that I'm an introvert who needs some alone time to recharge and step away for a bit.
So take a break. And treat yourself. And remember that parenting is hard but it is worth it.